I ate a doughnut today and I didn’t like it

I ate a doughnut today and I didn’t like it, so why did I eat it? I don’t know why, perhaps I’ll die. (channeling old nursery rhymes)

Seriously, Why did I eat it if I wasn’t enjoying it? Don’t get me wrong, I love doughnuts, I could eat half a dozen of them on my own. I can’t walk past the doughnut shop without drooling uncontrollably.

Today I walked into the break room at work and I saw a box of these evil fried and sugar coated spawns of Satan and I felt compelled to take one.  I took a bite and found it stale and overly sweet but I felt compelled to finish it. When I was done I started thinking why didn’t I just stop. Why didn’t I just throw it away.  I started to think about all the food I had eaten and not enjoyed but ate it anyway then felt guilty about it.  I remembered another dessert I had recently eaten only to think that it wasn’t worth the calories, yet I finished my plate.

Is it that I felt that since I had taken it I couldn’t waste the food by throwing it away? Previous food came to mind, was I afraid of insulting the hostess or someone else? Was I afraid it would be my last meal and I would be forced to eat only Brussels sprouts and protein shakes the rest of my life? Was it that I was forced to clean my plate when I was young because their were starving children in China? Never quite got that one and could only think about how I would gladly send those poor starving children my vegetables.

It makes me wonder about all the food choices I have made over my life. How many calories were wasted on food that I did not enjoy?  How many times did I feel compelled to finish my food? How many of us have sat in a restaurant, fully satiated only to continue to eat because there was food on the plate?

I think it is time to start looking at what I eat, how I eat, and why I eat the things I do.  It is time to just say no to finds I don’t enjoy and to not feel compelled to finish. I say that it is ok to throw out food that you do not like. It is ok to ask the waiter to clear your dishes so you don’t continue to pick at a plate. It is ok to give yourself permission to not eat/finish/taste/try something that you do not enjoy.

It is ok to just say NO!  



One thought on “I ate a doughnut today and I didn’t like it

  1. Love your writing…I too was brought up to “finish/complete” things. As an adult I had to consciously allow myself choices. I was pregnant with my third child, dawdling at the table with half eaten veggies on my plate. I had a live-in at that time and she had made something I didn’t like. I made a decision that I was a 32 year old grown woman, stood up and dumped the vegetables in the trash. Actually when I come across whiny self-indulgent children with completely unhealthy eating and lazy habits I am extremely glad of my upbringing; don;t waste food, finish what you start. It has made me a better person, but it also is OK to know that I do have choices.

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